Wading through life

I went horseback riding for the third time in my life a few weekends ago. Unlike the first two times, this time I wasn’t atop a horse that was following another horse, which was following a few other horses, which were ultimately following a lead horse. It was just me and the horse in a rather large corral (if that’s the right term). I essentially got to control where and how fast the horse traveled.

Early on during my little ride, I struggled to control the horse. I had a hard time getting him to travel straight. I initially steered him to the left toward the edge of the fencing. As I saw us getting a little too close, I steered him to the right. But that ended up being too much so I went back to the left.

I went through a good three or four rounds of that before I realized what was wrong. I was holding the reigns a little too tight. I had choked up on them too much so that each time I directed the horse to the left or to the right, he was going way left and way right. I didn’t understand just how sensitive the horse was to subtle directions.

I wouldn’t say I held the reigns too close and tight because I was anxious about my first independent ride; I was more so just inexperienced. On my previous two rides, I hardly had to hold the reigns at all because the horse just followed whatever horse was in front of it. This was a different experience. The horse was pretty well behaved (unlike the other one available that day), but it still required a bit of getting used to.

I’ve been thinking about that lately because I see a parallel or two in my walk with God. I think I’ve been holding on too tightly. Looking back, I see a lot of striving and performing in my life this last year or so. That isn’t to say I haven’t experienced exceptional growth in my relationship with God over the same span, because I certainly have. But I feel that I’ve not taken the shortest distance between two points to arrive at the destination God has for me. I’ve strove a bit to the left, performed some to the right, tried real hard again to the left and then got all frustrated and yanked back again to the right.

I feel like striving, performing, perpetually trying harder and yanking are all signs of immaturity and insecurity. I understand that there’s a fine line, because sitting idle and having no work to show for your faith is immature, too. Actually, it’s sin. And I also know that God is certainly okay with trying and failing. But I believe that with a mature faith in God and the work of Christ on the cross comes an ease and confidence that empowers people to live effective and impactful Kingdom lives without beating the air all the time.

Paul says in 1 Corinthians 9:24-26:

Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may obtain it. And everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things. Now they do it to obtain a perishable crown, but we for an imperishable crown. Therefore I run thus: not with uncertainty. Thus I fight: not as one who beats the air.

As one who recently completed a 1/2 marathon, I’m familiar with what it means to train for a race. I suppose I don’t know what it means to train with the intention of actually winning a 1/2 marathon, but I do know a bit about training. And while it’s probably harder to do so than undertraining, you certainly don’t want to overtrain. You run too hard or too long too early and you’ll injure yourself and be out for weeks.

A few weeks ago, God dropped the word “temperate” into my spirit and I just now understand why. Paul says “everyone who competes for the prize is temperate in all things.” Traditionally, I had looked at that verse (which is also translated “exercises self-control in all things”, “conducts himself temperately and restricts himself in all things”, “disciplined in their training”) and thought that it meant that you should restrict all the “bad” stuff from your life. Elite athletes obviously follow very strict diets. They sometimes give up recreational sports lest they suffer freak injuries. They don’t have loads of free time to burn; they live their sport.

But they also need crazy amounts of rest—more than the average person. I didn’t follow this rule, but they say when you’re training for a distance run like a 1/2 or full marathon, you should sleep an extra hour or two a night. So, in a given training day, you not only loose an hour or two running, you also loose another hour or two sleeping. Training isn’t all about killing yourself. It’s also about resting.

An article I read on RunnersWorld.com when preparing for my recent 1/2 marathon was titled “Slow Down to Speed Up: The key to running faster? Lots of slower miles.” It reported the results of studying eight national- and regional-level runners from Spain as they prepared for the Spanish cross-country championships.

As a group, the runners spent 71 percent of their time training at low intensities. In comparison, they only spent 21 percent of their time at moderate intensity, and eight percent at high intensity. When it came time to lace up the spikes and race, the runners who had logged the most time training in the low-intensity zone fared the best.

When I trained for my first half-marathon, I had a hard time restraining myself from running faster than I was supposed to on my “long runs.” My program gave me target paces to run at to prepare me to beat my goal. And most of the time, they were slower than I was accustomed to running. I didn’t understand the point of training at a considerably slower pace than I’d run the race. The way I figured, the more hard, push-myself-to-the-limit miles I ran, the better. Little did I know there was a point to all those slower miles.

So, all that to say, when Paul says “temperate in all things,” I think he truly means all things—not just things we’d qualify as “bad.” Temperate means: “marked by moderation; keeping or held within limits; not extreme or excessive.” There’s a time to push to the edge, strive and try harder, but it isn’t all the time. As Solomon says, there’s a time for everything.

I think Jesus was the most temperate person ever. Sure, he was extreme in many ways; sure, he had his moments of rage and passion; sure, he snapped at people. But he was also restrained. He wasn’t frantic and he didn’t panic. He operated in certainty and he didn’t beat the air. He prayed simple prayers and they worked.

Can you imagine the pressure, as a blood, sweat and tears human being, Jesus must have been under being the long-promised messiah of his people? The pressure to fulfill needs and meet expectations? The pressure to “answer his call”? How daunting it must have felt as he started digesting all the prophecies he’d fulfill in his lifetime? Surely, during his 20’s, he must have been tempted to think “I better get going on this! I have a lot of work to do!”

But yet, with little detail, we know that he was content to remain in submission to his parents, “growing in wisdom and in stature, and in favor with God and men” (Luke 2:52), until the appointed time. He waited until he himself heard “the voice crying in the wilderness.” He wasn’t about to get things started prematurely (unlike Saul in 1 Sam. 15:1-15).

And even when John the Baptist appeared on the scene, he wasn’t frantic to get things rolling. Luke 3:15 says “the people were in expectation” for Jesus’ arrival. Yet, he didn’t feel pressured to run out and meet that expectation. Luke goes on to say “When all the people were baptized, it came to pass that Jesus also was baptized.” “It came to pass”?!? Can’t you just see Jesus, the answer to their centuries-long prayers, just mozying into the wilderness, finding John, and getting baptized, much ado about nothing?

I believe Jesus was capable of such temperance, such confidence, such ease, because of the assurance He had of his Father’s love and approval. I’m aware of no miracles Jesus performed prior to his baptism, where God poured out His Holy Spirit upon Jesus and spoke the most powerful words a father can say to his child: “You are my Son, chosen and marked by my love, pride of my life” (Mark 1:11, MSG). The Father was bursting with pride (or brimming with joy or “well pleased,” depending on the translation) simply because Jesus was His son, not because he was about to endure 40 days of temptation, cast out a demon, heal a cripple, teach in the synagogue and eventually rescue humanity from its fallen state.

And I don’t think this was a new revelation to Jesus. I think what kept him doing only what he saw the Father doing and saying only what he heard the Father saying before his baptism was the same thing that led him to the cross: deep intimacy with the Father. Jesus was obsessed with his Father’s will because he knew the bliss of true intimacy with the Father and never wanted to experience life outside His deep affections. He didn’t do the Father’s will out of duty or obligation; he did it out of desire and passion. It was for the joy set before him that he endured the cross.

We know that out of one’s heart, the mouth speaks. John records Jesus’ referring to “the Father” 48 times in chapters 14-17, his last time teaching the disciples before Calvary. That’s once every 2.5 verses. That’s a pretty thick concentration. The Father was on Jesus’ mind.

And that’s the reality I want to experience: I want to be obsessed with the Father. Because I know that when that’s a reality, that will mean I’ve encountered the Father’s love in an utterly irresistible way. And that love will have empowered me to live more confidently, boldly and temperately.

I just want to know Him more. I really do. I know there’s deeper places to go in Him. I know there’s more freedom to experience as my revelation of His love for me grows deeper. And I know that I need that freedom am I ever going to do any significant Kingdom work. I’m just finding I’ve maybe pursued that freedom the wrong way: by striving for it, performing for it, trying harder for it. Doesn’t work. Ever try real hard to fall asleep? That doesn’t work either.

It’s time to ease up on the reins a bit.

“Everything can be taken from a man but one thing: the last of human freedoms—to choose one’s attitude in any given set of circumstances.” — Viktor Frankl, Holocaust survivor

Each day, we encounter dozens of circumstances that are completely out of our control. Over the course of weeks and months, those add up to hundreds and thousands. Though we live in a country based on principles of autonomy and freedom, in reality, much, if not most, of what we experience in life is far beyond our control and influence.

But as Frankl points out, the attitude with which we respond to situations is never, ever controlled by someone else. It’s always and entirely upon us. We get to choose to see obstacles as opportunities.

Consider the report of the spies sent into Caanan in Numbers 13:26-28:

Now they departed and came back to Moses and Aaron and all the congregation of the children of Israel in the Wilderness of Paran, at Kadesh; they brought back word to them and to all the congregation, and showed them the fruit of the land. Then they told him, and said: “We went to the land where you sent us. It truly flows with milk and honey, and this is its fruit. Nevertheless the people who dwell in the land are strong; the cities are fortified and very large; moreover we saw the descendants of Anak there.

They had peered into a land of giants. Major obstacle. But Caleb and Joshua saw it through the eyes of faith, hope and God’s empowering love. And through that lens they saw opportunity (v. 30):

Then Caleb quieted the people before Moses, and said, “Let us go up at once and take possession, for we are well able to overcome it.”

Caleb didn’t just say “We stand a chance.” He said “We are WELL ABLE to overcome it.” The New Living translates it “We can certainly conquer it!” This, coming from a guy whom I don’t even think was battle experienced yet.

Yet, the majority didn’t by it. The whined, moped and complained about the obstacle. And that was their doom. Numbers 14:26-30:

And the LORD spoke to Moses and Aaron, saying, “How long shall I bear with this evil congregation who complain against Me? I have heard the complaints which the children of Israel make against Me. Say to them, ‘As I live,’ says the LORD, ‘just as you have spoken in My hearing, so I will do to you: The carcasses of you who have complained against Me shall fall in this wilderness, all of you who were numbered, according to your entire number, from twenty years old and above. Except for Caleb the son of Jephunneh and Joshua the son of Nun, you shall by no means enter the land which I swore I would make you dwell in…”

What allows us to be Caleb’s and Joshua’s is the love of God. My beautiful fiance challenged me this morning to spend my work day considering (in the background of my mind) the fact that “He is for us and not against us.” What a simple, yet profound and empowering, truth.

Paul says in Romans 8:31 that “If God is for us, who can be against us?” Preceeding Paul in that revelation were Caleb and Joshua. They knew that if God was on their side, no enemy could withstand them. Look what Joshua says in Joshua 3:10:

By this you shall know that the living God is among you, and that He will WITHOUT FAIL drive out from before you the Canaanites and the Hittites and the Hivites and the Perizzites and the Girgashites and the Amorites and the Jebusites.

Joshua was compelled to fulfill his destiny in the Kingdom by God’s relentless love, grace and favor. No circumstance was allowed to stand in his way. Circumstances and obstacles will always come and present themselves. That’s a reality of war (and we’re at war). But, in Jesus’ name they will be overcome.

Paul builds upon his earlier revelation in Romans 8:

Who will bring any charge against those whom God has chosen? It is God who justifies. Who is he that condemns? Christ Jesus, who died-more than that, who was raised to life-is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us. Who shall separate us from the love of Christ? Shall trouble or hardship or persecution or famine or nakedness or danger or sword? As it is written:

“For your sake we face death all day long;
we are considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”

No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us. For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

“It is for freedom that Christ has set us free” (Gal 5:1). Now let us walk in it.

I think this is a valuable prayer for today. It’s by Albert Mohler—a man I’m not very familar with. But I was referred to his site by a blog I respect quite a bit: Boundless, Focus on the Family’s young adult ministry.

Here’s an excerpt from the prayer. I particularly like this portion because I think it wraps up well the role government should play in our lives and what we should (or shouldn’t) expect from it:

We should pray that Americans will be motivated to fulfill the responsibilities of citizenship, yet also that we will be stripped of an unhealthy and idolatrous confidence in the power of government to save us. God has given us the gift of rulers and governments in order to restrain evil, uphold righteousness, and provide for civil order. No human ruler can save. No government official or office holder can heal the human heart, solve the sin problem, or accomplish final justice. These powers belong to God and God alone.

God be with us in this pivotal time in our history.

Monday started out like most days Heather is in Jackson overnight: at the Anderson’s house. But it ended unlike any other, with me feeling like the most blessed man on earth. Because Monday was the day Heather said “Yes” when I asked her to marry me! You know what that calls for? A big ol’ WOOT!

But most of you knew that already. So, I’ll do a quick run-down of what you don’t know: my little plan-o-action to surprise her.

On Sunday, I had told Heather that I had a few little surprise “fall events” planned for Monday that would probably require warm clothing. I think I did a decent job of making them appear innocent enough that she didn’t suspect anything was up. But I guess she’d have to be the one to tell you that for sure.

First on the list was the playground at Ella Sharp Park. Many of you probably don’t know this, but Heather loves to swing on swing sets. It was one of the things I found most odd about her MySpace profile when we were first getting to know each other. But now that I do know her, and understand her taste for life’s simple pleasures, it makes complete sense. And I’ve quite enjoyed learning to appreciate more simple things such as swinging—thus me buying a kite and flying it with her a few weeks ago.

Anyway, we swung on swings. And it worked out great because it had rained off and on all morning, but not when we were swinging. It was sunny, in fact, and at one point we were sure we were going to see a rainbow.

Being at the swings perfectly set up item two on the list, which was the Hurst Planetarium. It’s right across the road from the playground. While walking over there, I explained to Heather that I had arranged a private show for us in the planetarium. To my delight, she found that idea really exciting. She’d never experienced a planetarium show before. I thought she’d maybe find it a bit nerdy, so I was pleased with her response.

After thinking we were locked out, Mark, the planetarium director and a Jackson Public School astronomy teacher, let us in. We chatted a bit, he explained what the show was going to be about, and we took our seats. For about 10 minutes, we enjoyed the sights and sounds cast above and around us on the domed ceiling and then Mark had to cut out to take a phone call. He apologized, but explained that he was a single dad and his son was calling. To hold us over, he turned on some dim lights and played some soft music.

Enter here Joel’s special “To Get Engaged To” mix cd.

A minute or so into the first song, Heather recognized the artist, asked me to verify and was curious why he chose the music he did. I then, somewhat awkwardly I feel, initiated us moving from our seats to the front of the planetarium where there was a little light. And it was there that I let Heather know that I didn’t bring her to the planetarium so that we could watch a program about the stars. I brought her there to ask her an important question.

So, at 2:30 in the afternoon, under a star-lit ceiling, we got engaged!

But, that wasn’t the end of my list. Next up was the giant leaf pile I made for her at another spot in Ella Sharp. Heather had said a few times this fall how she’d like to jump in a huge pile of leaves. So, I got up early Monday morning before she was awake and made her one—to the curiosity of several park visitors. But having rained over night, the leaves were quite wet. I figured she wouldn’t be interested, but I made it anyway and packed some special clothes to cover us in should she want to go for a dive.

It was, indeed, one of those, “It’s the thought that counts” moments. She loved the pile, but passed on the experience.

Next on the list was my apartment. I let Heather in, where she was greeted by a dozen roses. And while she was sitting on the couch enjoying them, I came back from my bedroom guitar in-hand. That really got a gleeful reaction from her! I’m not very skilled with the instrument, and I messed up several times, but I was willing to look a fool to delight her heart. And so, for the first time ever in front of someone, I sang a song while playing my guitar. And I’m glad to say that “someone” was Heather, my soon-to-be wife.

To wrap up the great day, we drove to the Ann Arbor Chop House and enjoyed some fine dining and amazing steak.

So, that’s it! Our engagement story from my perspective. There’s lots more I could tell, but I need to be getting to work.

P.S. for Heather: I love you

Then on October 17 of that same year, the Lord sent another message through the prophet Haggai. “Say this to Zerubbabel son of Shealtiel, governor of Judah, and to Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest, and to the remnant of God’s people there in the land: ‘Does anyone remember this house-this Temple-in its former splendor? How, in comparison, does it look to you now? It must seem like nothing at all! But now the Lord says: Be strong, Zerubbabel. Be strong, Jeshua son of Jehozadak, the high priest. Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised when you came out of Egypt. So do not be afraid.’

“For this is what the Lord of Heaven’s Armies says: In just a little while I will again shake the heavens and the earth, the oceans and the dry land. I will shake all the nations, and the treasures of all the nations will be brought to this Temple. I will fill this place with glory, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The silver is mine, and the gold is mine, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. The future glory of this Temple will be greater than its past glory, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. And in this place I will bring peace. I, the Lord of Heaven’s Armies, have spoken!” — Haggai: 2:1-9 (NLT)

I ran across this scripture on October 7 and was going to write something about it then. But I didn’t ever flesh it out. So, I’m just going to go ahead and get it out there.

All I remember is that I felt it had some prophetic significance to what our country—and now the rest of the world—is going through from an economic standpoint. I guess the main points I felt impressed to me were:

• Our current “temple” (i.e. the Dow) may seem like nothing compared to its former glory. But “Be strong, all you people still left in the land. And now get to work, for I am with you, says the Lord of Heaven’s Armies. My Spirit remains among you, just as I promised…”
• All the nations surely are being shaken
• The silver and gold are the Lord’s. Any means of preserving and/or manipulatubg the system contrary to God’s ways are ultimately useless. They way work for a while, but will always fail.
• What God can rebuild through this crisis can be greater than that which He built originally